self-image

Never worry about what other people think about you again

Published by Kenneth

Do you know someone who is always concerned and worried about what others think about them? Have you ever fallen into that trap?

Recently I was working with a new business owner who I am mentoring, and we were talking about some of his associates that he thought might be interested in an opportunity. He was concerned about what his associates and others would think about him. This prompted me to write this post as I know that there are many other people who struggle with this thought process that is keeping them from succeeding at the highest level.

It is very natural for you to care about what others think about you. It is human nature to want to fit in. The simple fact of the matter is that YOU are the very person who largely can dictate how others view you and think about you. How, you may ask?

Here is the key: People will see you in the very way in which you carry yourself! It’s that simple. If you want to be seen as a shy and timid person, act that way and that is how you will be perceived. If you want to be seen as a confident, outgoing and savvy individual, act that way and that is how you will be treated and thought of. I am not saying that you should try to be someone that you are not, but what I am saying is rather than letting others dictate who you are and being worried about how they view you, show them who you are by how you carry yourself.

Think about the last time that you saw someone who many people respected walk into the room. Would you say that there was a sort of feeling in the air that this individual commanded respect? They probably did not even have to say anything. It was simply how they carried themselves that made people think that this person is a ‘somebody.’

So how do you carry yourself? Do you walk with your head up and a quick pace? Do you offer a firm handshake and look people in the eyes? Do you speak boldly and confidently, loud enough for others to hear you? Or do you walk with your head down at a snail’s pace? Is your handshake and eyes telling others that, “I have no confidence in myself?” Are you speaking low and mumbling so that others are always asking you to repeat yourself? All of this body language speaks volumes to people who are instantly deciding if you are someone that they will want to get to know or follow.

Instead of being concerned about how others think about you, your energy and focus should be on how you carry yourself and the body language that you are giving off. If you want people to see you in a certain way, act that way. Act the way that you want others to think about you!

Tell me how you have overcome worrying about what others think about you.

To Your Success!!

Ken Cloutier

 

 

photocredit

 

 

Tips on How Self-Improvement Brings About Success

Published by Kenneth

In order to become become more successful, it will require some sort of change on your part. If you talk to the average person and talk about self-improvement, he or she will most likely think that self-improvement is for the person that has “problems or issues” and not for them. In fact, self-improvement is exactly what it sounds like- improving yourself. You improve yourself in order to become the type of person that people will want to be around as well as attract success. Following success habits and actions over and over will eventually lead you to the success that you are looking for. Self-improvement, therefore, is vital to your success.

 I have listed some tips and thoughts on how your self-improvement can and will create your success.

• Stop thinking and feeling as if you’re a failure, because you’re not. How can others accept you if YOU can’t accept YOU?

• When you see hunks and models on TV, think more on self-improvement, not self pitying. Self-acceptance is not just about having nice slender legs, or great abs. Concentrate on inner beauty.

• When people feel so down and low about themselves, help them to feel better about themselves and improve their self-image. Don’t go down with them. They’ll pull you down further and both of you will end up feeling inferior.

• The world is a large room for lessons, not mistakes. Don’t feel stupid and doomed forever just because you did not get that sale or hit that goal. There’s always a next time. Make rooms for self-improvement.

• Take things one at a time. You don’t expect black sheep’s to be goody-two-shoes in just a snap of a finger. Self-improvement is a one day at a time process.

• Self-improvement results to inner stability, personality development and SUCCESS. It comes from self-confidence, self appreciation and self-esteem.

• Set meaningful and achievable goals. Self-improvement doesn’t mean that you have to be like the exact replica of Cameron Diaz or Ralph Fiennes. The aim is to get an improved and better YOU.

• Little things mean BIG to other people. Sometimes, we don’t realize that the little things that we do like a pat on the back, saying “hi” or “hello”, greeting someone “good day” or telling Mr. Johnson something like “hey, I love your tie!” are simple things that mean so much to other people. When we’re being appreciative about beautiful things around us and other people, we also become beautiful to them.

• When you’re willing to accept change and go through the process of self-improvement, it doesn’t mean that everyone else is. The world is a place where people of different values and attitude hang out. Sometimes, even if you think you and your best friend always like to do the same thing together at the same time, she would most likely decline an invitation for self-improvement.

We should always remember that there’s no such thing as ‘over night success’. Its always a wonderful feeling to hold on to the things that you already have now, realizing that those are just one of the things you once wished for. A very nice quote says that, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” We are all here to learn our lessons. Our parents, school teachers, friends, business partners, office mates, neighbors… they are our teachers. When we open our doors for self-improvement, we increase our chances to head to the road of success.

To YOUR success!!

Kenneth Cloutier

 

photocredits

Crush Your Fears

Published by Kenneth

Fear is something every human experiences. Some fears have been ingrained in us at birth; the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. Every other fear that we have is a learned event. Even the most successful people that you can think of have certain fears and doubts. What made many of these people successful is how they overcame their fears and pressed on towards their goals.

So how do they do it? Can you think of a fear or doubt that has held you back from achieving your goals and dreams? What led you to that fear and what have you done to overcome it? The good news is that If you understand what causes fear, it is possible to overcome the fear and move forward!

Let’s start with what fear actually is. Fear is: False Evidence Appearing Real. Yes that’s right, fear is actually all in your mind. Many fears that you or I have is actually actions played out negatively in our minds. Let’s say that you are “fearful” of talking to people that you don’t know or starting a conversation. When you think about how to start a conversation, all you think about is “what if the person does not want to talk to me?” or “what if the person ignores me and I look foolish?” You play out all of the negative outcomes in your head and then do not talk to the person. In order to destroy that false thought process, you should change your thought process to “what if I talk to that person and we hit it off?…I have made a new friend, possibly a best friend!” It is all about having positive expectations that good things will happen when you take action. Whenever you are faced with a fear, the first thing to do is to change your thought process and start thinking of the positive outcomes rather than the negative ones.

So now that you have changed your thought patterns about your fear and the negative actions associated with it, the next step in overcoming your fear is taking action. I’m sure that you have heard this before that action cures fear. It’s true!

When you take action against your fear, you will find out that what you feared so much was all in your head and everything works out just fine. It is like the Wizard of Oz- there is nothing behind the curtain! Let’s re-visit the earlier example of talking to someone new or starting a conversation. If you take action and go ahead and break the ice with a stranger, more times than not, they will give you a positive response and you will realize that you had nothing to fear after all. Action cures fear!!

 Each time you take action against the very thing you fear, it will get easier and easier. Think about the first time you learned how to swim. Chances are you were a little bit afraid of the water and did not want to let go of your mom or dad for fear of drowning. However, once you began to learn how to float and swim, your fear of drowning went away. Now you are doing flips off of the diving board and have not one thought about drowning or being afraid of the water. Action cures fear!! Having fear is a natural human element. Many people let fear hold them back from becoming all that they were meant to be. Don’t let fear knock you down. Look fear right in the eyes and do the very thing that you are afraid of. When you face your fear and take action, you will begin to feel better about yourself and your confidence goes up. Who would not want to feel better about themselves and be all that they were meant to be? Destroy your fear!

Oh, and did I mention, Action cures fear!

For more of my success strategies, check out my FREE 10 Day Blueprint video series.

To you Success!

Ken Cloutier

 

5 Characteristics of a Likeable Person

Published by Kenneth

Do you deal with people on a regular basis? Does your career or business depend on you getting along with people and being liked?

The following 5 characteristics will help you to become a better “people person” and be liked by others more easily and sincerely.

1. Listen more than you talk- Don’t you hate it when you speak with someone who only seems to know the word “I” or “Me”? It seems as though they do not know anybody else exists other than themselves. Likeable people understand they then need to listen more and talk less. They ask questions and actually HEAR what the other person is saying. They use active listening which shows that they care. Active listening means that they are leaning forward, making eye contact, acknowledging and re-stating key points that they hear. Everyone wants to know that they are being heard and listening will make you more likeable.

2. Give without receiving- Likeable people truly give of themselves and provide knowledge and/or expertise without worrying about what they will get in return. Giving is really the only way to establish a relationship and connection with others. By giving freely without expecting anything back in return shows others that you really do put them first and care about them. Try it and watch how good you feel by giving of yourself; you will be liked.

3. Likeable people are humble- In a society where athletes and musicians alike, for example, are quick to say and act as though they are God’s gift to civilization and they are untouchable, never making mistakes. In fact, the opposite will get you much farther. Individuals who are liked by others tend to have a confidence about them but do not feel the need to broadcast it to everyone. Instead they are open to and enjoy learning from others. Which brings me to the next characteristic.

4. Take the spotlight off of themselves and shine it on others- These folks do not care nor want the credit. Instead, they are quick to give the credit to others and will even tell others that they have done a good job and are appreciated. This not only demonstrates what a nice person they are, but the people that they are praising will have respect and like them.

5. They don’t take themselves too seriously- Likeable people are liked largely in part because they are not afraid to admit their mistakes and shortcomings. They are quick to laugh at themselves and don’t take themselves too seriously. By doing this, they let others know that they are REAL and do not look down on others and point out their flaws only. This goes back to be humble and having humility. Nobody is perfect, so they don’t have to act as though they are.

By implementing these characteristics into your own personality, you will begin to attract and draw others to you. We are around others and work with them on a daily basis, why not enjoy them and help to make the world a better place.

To your continued Success!

Kenneth Cloutier 

photocredit

Who Are You Listening To?

Published by Kenneth

Watch any TV commercial or pick up any newspaper or periodical and you will be flooded with information and opinions on what you should or should not do. The question is, who do you listen to?

It is unfortunate that a large amount of people will listen to, and take advice from, people who don’t have their best interest in mind. Sometimes, it is actually from close friends and loved ones who are trying to “protect’ them from making a mistake or making a bad decision.

Having been in business for a number of years, I have witnessed potential entrepreneurs get SNIOP’d (susceptible to the negative influences of other people). They listened to somebody’s opinion about whether or not they should go into business for themselves or not.

The reality of the situation, is that these people listened to individuals who are have not obtained any type of personal or financial success. These advice givers don’t understand that in order to be in business for yourself and make money, it does require an element of risk- a calculated risk. What the potential entrepreneurs did not take into consideration was the ‘fruit on the tree’ that those people giving opinions had.

How can you expect to learn something from someone that has never done what they are giving their advice about? I have never studied or performed a brain surgery. How crazy would it be for someone to take advice or opinions from me on brain surgery? I have no clue on how to even begin a surgery let alone a brain surgery! Yet that is what so many people do when it comes to their finances and making money. They take opinions from people that are in debt, unhappy, and working in a career going nowhere.

The next time that you are going to take somebody’s opinion that is not going to encourage or support you, see where they are at in life. At your job, have you ever looked at the person who has been with the company for 10+ years and observed how happy they are, what kind of car they drive, where they live, etc? If you like their lifestyle, then continue to follow in their footsteps. If however you don’t, then understand that if you keep following their same path, you will end up where they are.

I have been fortunate to have been able to have a set of mentors that are in life where I want to be. They have given me and my family the ability to have someone to model and follow a script for success. These individuals have been able to put up the warning signs of life and enable us to sidestep any potential potholes that would be around the bend.

How about you? Do you have anybody encouraging you to do more with your life? Do you have somebody who has a vested interest in your success? Do you have anybody that you can listen to in order to help your chances of being successful?

I have helped hundreds of individuals create extra income and secure their financial stability while maintaining their current occupation. I do not claim to be any type of expert, but i’m just a guy who has great mentorship and has figured out a few things for himself. I am willing to help others do the same.

If you are ambitious, ready for a change, and looking to secure your financial future, click here  to get more information. See you on the other side!!

To your success!

Ken Cloutier

Look good and feel confident

How to Have the Self-Image of a Rockstar

Published by Kenneth

Self-Image is the single most important aspect of our lives. The best analogy for this is that our Self-Image is like our central nervous system to our body. It controls everything about us. To know the importance of this is critical because your business, career, relationships, and anything else in your life will never outgrow your Self-Image!  I am going to outline 12 different points on how you can have the Self-Image of a Rockstar!

1. Appearance: When you look good, you feel good! Put on that sharp shirt with dress pants and look in the mirror and you feel like a million bucks don’t you? We have all done that before. When you feel good about how you look, your Self-Image will go up and you will walk and talk with greater confidence.

This can also translate over to your vehicle or home. Keeping a dirty car where you have old french fries from two months ago or a messy house is a very good indicator on how you perceive yourself. Don’t you get a great feeling when you get into your clean car regardless of  how old it is or walk into your clean fresh smelling house? Clean up and feel good!

2. Posture: You can increase your Self-Image simply by how you carry yourself. Walk with your chest out and your chin up; like you own the room. Sit upright and uncross your arms. These are all ways in which you can not only raise your Self-Image, but also show others and attract people to you because you have that air of confidence. Study the way successful people you know carry themselves. When was the last time you saw a successful person walking with their shoulders slumped and looking down at their shoes? They all have a posture about them; usually a brisk walk like they are going somewhere- which they are!

Another key aspect of posture is looking people in their eyes. I don’t mean the type of stare where you don’t blink, but looking at people in the eyes when you are talking to them or listening. It amazes me how many people that do not look me in the eyes when I speak with them. Instantly I know that they have a bit of a Self-Image issue.

Speak with confidence. Doesn’t it drive you nuts when you are trying to converse with somebody who has no confidence and they are speaking with little more than a slight mumble? You have to keep asking them to re-state what they just said until you get so sick of it you start nodding your head as if you actually are hearing them. Speak loud and bold so that others can hear you. You may ask “What if I say something wrong?” Who cares!! At least you said it with confidence!

3. Be on time: Nothing shows more disrespect for somebody’s time than showing up late. It also has a negative impact on your Self-Image. It may not seem like a big deal, but you know the feeling that I am talking about; you arrive at a meeting late and open the door and all of the heads turn to you and you reply- “I’m sorry that I am late.” Your Self-Image just took a hit. Be accountable. Leave for your appointment a few minutes early and arrive 5-10 minutes before- even family events. By your actions you are saying “I feel good about myself and care about our appointment.”

4. Manage your money well: This can be tied back into #3 about being accountable. Make sure you are aware of your money and paying your bills, etc. on time. When all of your bills are paid for and you are accountable, you will feel better about yourself. I can remember getting call after call from bill collectors about money that I owed. Needless to say when I got off the phone I didn’t exactly feel good. I felt lower than a pregnant ant! If you have made a commitment to pay for something or give money to someone for an event or tickets, etc- pay them. Guilt will lower your Self-Image.

5. Do what you are supposed to do consistently: We all have responsibilities in our lives and are being pulled in a thousand different directions from our family to careers to friends. Many times we do not want to do what we know we should or have to do. Resisting the temptation to put these things off and doing them even when we don’t feel like it will enhance your Self-Image. Have you started a work out regimen or gone on a diet recently? The first couple of weeks when you work out you feel tired and sore; not really the combination that screams to go to the gym! After a couple of weeks of consistently going to the gym, you actually change your perspective on working out. You feel as though you can’t go a day without working out! The same is true with dieting or cutting out sugar. The first few days/weeks are miserable but then you get to the point where you don’t even crave or want sugar. If you don’t do the things you should do or are not overcoming obstacles, your Self-Image will go backward. Remember, Success = Right Habits!

6. Progressive Goals: Another way to increase your Self-Image is to have progressive goals. These are goals that you increase every month. For example, if you are in sales your progressive goals may be to increase your monthly sales by X%. It may be that you are able to run for 2 miles before you get tired and your goal for next month would be to run 4 miles. These continual goals helps you to move forward and develop the habit of winning which will raise your Self-Image!

7. Pay the full price not the minimum price: Paying a price and overcoming obstacles will raise your Self-Image. Going through struggles will help you to see what you are made of. Too many people look to take the short cut or the paved road of simplicity only to find out that the reward was little to nothing. See how productive you can be- test yourself and you will be surprised how far you can go. Keep in mind that your reward is directly proportioned to the price you pay. The bigger the price, the bigger the reward. Increase your price and you will increase your Self-Image!

8. Don’t speak negative about yourself: Do you cringe like me whenever you hear someone say I can’t do this or I’m not good at that? I hate it! Never speak negative about yourself. Our brains are the greatest computer ever created. It can formulate ideas and solve problems in fractions of a second. However, it is easily programmed to listen to and accept any negative things we say about ourself. Our brain can not decipher whether or not you mean what you say but it takes everything we say to it literally. When you say things like “I am not good with people” or “I can’t remember names” you are programming yourself to do just that. It is just as easy to say that you are good with people or you are good at remembering names. Take the lid off of your capabilities and believe in yourself; this will raise your Self-Image. Speak positive about yourself and your brain will have nothing else to do but have you feeling good about you.

9. Spend time with people that have better Self-Images than you: Get around other individuals who have a high Self-Image. It may be a little bit intimidating at first, but the results will be well worth it. By getting around confident people, you can study how they dress, walk, speak, carry themselves, hear what they talk about, and most importantly, see what they don’t talk about. If you model people with a higher Self-Image than you, your Self-Image will go up as you start adopting their habits and attitudes.

10. Realize that action is the only thing that cures fear: Do what you fear a lot and you will get good at it. You may say that “I can’t talk in front of people.” Well for starters, refer back to topic #8, but how do you know you can’t unless you try it and work at it. Many people were raised to think that if it hurts or feels uncomfortable, stop doing it. My mentor has always said that pain is weakness leaving the body. If you start taking action on what you fear, your Self-Image will rise.Change is taking deliberate, proactive action outside of your comfort zone. Make the changes today and watch your Self-Image soar!

11.  Self-education: Self improvement education goes a long way to increasing and maintaining your Self-Image. I recommend reading positive books and listening to positive audios. Books change you from the inside out. It is like having a personal conversation with the author on how great you are and how you can improve yourself. Audios on the other hand, can help to program your thoughts and attitudes. Be careful what you allow into your mind. Lyrics to songs can be a hindrance to your Self-Image. The beat may be good, but if the song is speaking of negative things or when you sing along with the song, you are putting yourself down, your Self-Image will go down as well. Remember, your brain can not tell the difference- it only acts on the words that you tell it.

12. Build other people’s Self-Image: Build the Self-Image of others around your daily. Notice the little things about someone such as a nice shirt that they are wearing, or maybe they spoke up and made a good point in a meeting that you admired. Your Self-Image will go up when you look for positive qualities in others because you will work to look for the positive in yourself; it becomes a habit! When you serve others, your Self-Image goes up. So take your eyes off of yourself and put it on others.

It is with sincere hope that this article has helped you in some way. Whether you had a very low Self-Image before you read this post, or you were just trying to see how you can improve the good Self-Image you currently have, you must continue to work on yourself on a daily basis.

You may be overwhelmed and thinking how can I possibly do all 12 of these things to improve my Self-Image. My recommendation to you is to start with 1 or 2 topics at a time and work on them for several days until you feel that you have made progress. Then move on to another set. Your Self-Image did not form over night and therefore, will not change over night either. Take it a day at a time and bit by bit you will feel better about yourself.

I do not claim to be the Self-Image guru and, like everyone else, I battle and have to continually work on my Self-Image. When you understand and implement the tools and strategies that I have spelled out above, it is a battle you can be confident of winning!

Please share with me strategies and/or stories of how you have raised your Self-Image! I would love your feedback.

To your Success!

Kenneth Cloutier

Ways to Overcome the Fear of Rejection

Published by Kenneth

How many times as a child did you hear the word “no”? I am guessing that it was hundreds if not thousands of times. When you were at the store and asked your mom for that sleek red Matchbox car or the newest Barbie doll you constantly heard no, no, no! But as a young child, you did not see the word  no as a roadblock,  but instead you would keep on asking until you got the one word that we wanted to hear…”yes”

So why is it now that you are all grown up you fear hearing the word no? What changed from when you were young and essentially ignored the no’s and continued to ask questions until you got the yes that you were searching for?

I am reminded of a great example of this. As I was reading a book at a coffee shop, a young girl of about the age of five was selling some candy for a fund-raiser. I observed as she approached each “stranger” with enthusiasm and asked if they would like to buy some candy. She got no after no but continued to walk to each table as if it were the first time asking the question. How was she able to do this at the age of five, yet each of us from 25, 35, 45, and above could never think of doing such a thing?

The reason is that the little girl did not care or worry about what other people thought about her! Think about that for a moment. Why is it that you were afraid of making that sales call to the CEO of the client that you were trying to get business from? Or why do so many people not like to speak in front of others and seem to forget their names when speaking publicly? It’s simple: you care about what others think about you and you do not want to look like a fool to them. We all tend to try to compare the good qualities of others with the not so good qualities of ourselves.

So how do you overcome that fear of worrying about what others think about you and  raise your self-image?

1. Start a self development program of reading books that help you to understand that you are a one of a kind, special person- there is no other you out there! Some great titles that helped me are, What to Say When you Talk To Yourself by Shad Helmstetter and  The greatest Miracle in the World by Og Mandino.

2. The “mirror technique”- When I first did this I thought it was real crazy and weird. What you do is look at the person in the mirror (you) and start to say great things about yourself. Things like: “you are a winner”, “you are successful”, “you are going places”, etc. There is something special that happens when you can look yourself in your eyes and speak positive!

3. Look at rejection not as a failure, but as a step closer to success! In the book Go for No pointed out that most people view rejection as:

Failure <—–You—–>Success

You either fail or succeed.

But if your view Failure as a passing through point, it is easy to accept because you know you are closer to succeeding and don’t worry what others think. It looks like this:

You—–>Failure—–>Success!! You literally fail your way to success.

So how do you overcome your fear of rejection? Raise your self-image and understand that rejection is a stepping stone for success. If you use the techniques and resources that I have provided to you, watch as you move forward towards your goals and dreams with a pep in your step!

I would love to get feedback from you and even hear how you overcame some of your fears of rejection.

To your Success!!

Ken Cloutier

 

 

photocredit