Do you know someone who is always concerned and worried about what others think about them? Have you ever fallen into that trap?
Recently I was working with a new business owner who I am mentoring, and we were talking about some of his associates that he thought might be interested in an opportunity. He was concerned about what his associates and others would think about him. This prompted me to write this post as I know that there are many other people who struggle with this thought process that is keeping them from succeeding at the highest level.
It is very natural for you to care about what others think about you. It is human nature to want to fit in. The simple fact of the matter is that YOU are the very person who largely can dictate how others view you and think about you. How, you may ask?
Here is the key: People will see you in the very way in which you carry yourself! It’s that simple. If you want to be seen as a shy and timid person, act that way and that is how you will be perceived. If you want to be seen as a confident, outgoing and savvy individual, act that way and that is how you will be treated and thought of. I am not saying that you should try to be someone that you are not, but what I am saying is rather than letting others dictate who you are and being worried about how they view you, show them who you are by how you carry yourself.
Think about the last time that you saw someone who many people respected walk into the room. Would you say that there was a sort of feeling in the air that this individual commanded respect? They probably did not even have to say anything. It was simply how they carried themselves that made people think that this person is a ‘somebody.’
So how do you carry yourself? Do you walk with your head up and a quick pace? Do you offer a firm handshake and look people in the eyes? Do you speak boldly and confidently, loud enough for others to hear you? Or do you walk with your head down at a snail’s pace? Is your handshake and eyes telling others that, “I have no confidence in myself?” Are you speaking low and mumbling so that others are always asking you to repeat yourself? All of this body language speaks volumes to people who are instantly deciding if you are someone that they will want to get to know or follow.
Instead of being concerned about how others think about you, your energy and focus should be on how you carry yourself and the body language that you are giving off. If you want people to see you in a certain way, act that way. Act the way that you want others to think about you!
Tell me how you have overcome worrying about what others think about you.
To Your Success!!
In order to become become more successful, it will require some sort of change on your part. If you talk to the average person and talk about self-improvement, he or she will most likely think that self-improvement is for the person that has “problems or issues” and not for them. In fact, self-improvement is exactly what it sounds like- improving yourself. You improve yourself in order to become the type of person that people will want to be around as well as attract success. Following success habits and actions over and over will eventually lead you to the success that you are looking for. Self-improvement, therefore, is vital to your success.
I have listed some tips and thoughts on how your self-improvement can and will create your success.
• Stop thinking and feeling as if you’re a failure, because you’re not. How can others accept you if YOU can’t accept YOU?
• When you see hunks and models on TV, think more on self-improvement, not self pitying. Self-acceptance is not just about having nice slender legs, or great abs. Concentrate on inner beauty.
• When people feel so down and low about themselves, help them to feel better about themselves and improve their self-image. Don’t go down with them. They’ll pull you down further and both of you will end up feeling inferior.
• The world is a large room for lessons, not mistakes. Don’t feel stupid and doomed forever just because you did not get that sale or hit that goal. There’s always a next time. Make rooms for self-improvement.
• Take things one at a time. You don’t expect black sheep’s to be goody-two-shoes in just a snap of a finger. Self-improvement is a one day at a time process.
• Self-improvement results to inner stability, personality development and SUCCESS. It comes from self-confidence, self appreciation and self-esteem.
• Set meaningful and achievable goals. Self-improvement doesn’t mean that you have to be like the exact replica of Cameron Diaz or Ralph Fiennes. The aim is to get an improved and better YOU.
• Little things mean BIG to other people. Sometimes, we don’t realize that the little things that we do like a pat on the back, saying “hi” or “hello”, greeting someone “good day” or telling Mr. Johnson something like “hey, I love your tie!” are simple things that mean so much to other people. When we’re being appreciative about beautiful things around us and other people, we also become beautiful to them.
• When you’re willing to accept change and go through the process of self-improvement, it doesn’t mean that everyone else is. The world is a place where people of different values and attitude hang out. Sometimes, even if you think you and your best friend always like to do the same thing together at the same time, she would most likely decline an invitation for self-improvement.
We should always remember that there’s no such thing as ‘over night success’. Its always a wonderful feeling to hold on to the things that you already have now, realizing that those are just one of the things you once wished for. A very nice quote says that, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” We are all here to learn our lessons. Our parents, school teachers, friends, business partners, office mates, neighbors… they are our teachers. When we open our doors for self-improvement, we increase our chances to head to the road of success.
To YOUR success!!
Fear is something every human experiences. Some fears have been ingrained in us at birth; the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. Every other fear that we have is a learned event. Even the most successful people that you can think of have certain fears and doubts. What made many of these people successful is how they overcame their fears and pressed on towards their goals.
So how do they do it? Can you think of a fear or doubt that has held you back from achieving your goals and dreams? What led you to that fear and what have you done to overcome it? The good news is that If you understand what causes fear, it is possible to overcome the fear and move forward!
Let’s start with what fear actually is. Fear is: False Evidence Appearing Real. Yes that’s right, fear is actually all in your mind. Many fears that you or I have is actually actions played out negatively in our minds. Let’s say that you are “fearful” of talking to people that you don’t know or starting a conversation. When you think about how to start a conversation, all you think about is “what if the person does not want to talk to me?” or “what if the person ignores me and I look foolish?” You play out all of the negative outcomes in your head and then do not talk to the person. In order to destroy that false thought process, you should change your thought process to “what if I talk to that person and we hit it off?…I have made a new friend, possibly a best friend!” It is all about having positive expectations that good things will happen when you take action. Whenever you are faced with a fear, the first thing to do is to change your thought process and start thinking of the positive outcomes rather than the negative ones.
So now that you have changed your thought patterns about your fear and the negative actions associated with it, the next step in overcoming your fear is taking action. I’m sure that you have heard this before that action cures fear. It’s true!
When you take action against your fear, you will find out that what you feared so much was all in your head and everything works out just fine. It is like the Wizard of Oz- there is nothing behind the curtain! Let’s re-visit the earlier example of talking to someone new or starting a conversation. If you take action and go ahead and break the ice with a stranger, more times than not, they will give you a positive response and you will realize that you had nothing to fear after all. Action cures fear!!
Each time you take action against the very thing you fear, it will get easier and easier. Think about the first time you learned how to swim. Chances are you were a little bit afraid of the water and did not want to let go of your mom or dad for fear of drowning. However, once you began to learn how to float and swim, your fear of drowning went away. Now you are doing flips off of the diving board and have not one thought about drowning or being afraid of the water. Action cures fear!! Having fear is a natural human element. Many people let fear hold them back from becoming all that they were meant to be. Don’t let fear knock you down. Look fear right in the eyes and do the very thing that you are afraid of. When you face your fear and take action, you will begin to feel better about yourself and your confidence goes up. Who would not want to feel better about themselves and be all that they were meant to be? Destroy your fear!
Oh, and did I mention, Action cures fear!
For more of my success strategies, check out my FREE 10 Day Blueprint video series.
To you Success!
Do you deal with people on a regular basis? Does your career or business depend on you getting along with people and being liked?
The following 5 characteristics will help you to become a better “people person” and be liked by others more easily and sincerely.
1. Listen more than you talk- Don’t you hate it when you speak with someone who only seems to know the word “I” or “Me”? It seems as though they do not know anybody else exists other than themselves. Likeable people understand they then need to listen more and talk less. They ask questions and actually HEAR what the other person is saying. They use active listening which shows that they care. Active listening means that they are leaning forward, making eye contact, acknowledging and re-stating key points that they hear. Everyone wants to know that they are being heard and listening will make you more likeable.
2. Give without receiving- Likeable people truly give of themselves and provide knowledge and/or expertise without worrying about what they will get in return. Giving is really the only way to establish a relationship and connection with others. By giving freely without expecting anything back in return shows others that you really do put them first and care about them. Try it and watch how good you feel by giving of yourself; you will be liked.
3. Likeable people are humble- In a society where athletes and musicians alike, for example, are quick to say and act as though they are God’s gift to civilization and they are untouchable, never making mistakes. In fact, the opposite will get you much farther. Individuals who are liked by others tend to have a confidence about them but do not feel the need to broadcast it to everyone. Instead they are open to and enjoy learning from others. Which brings me to the next characteristic.
4. Take the spotlight off of themselves and shine it on others- These folks do not care nor want the credit. Instead, they are quick to give the credit to others and will even tell others that they have done a good job and are appreciated. This not only demonstrates what a nice person they are, but the people that they are praising will have respect and like them.
5. They don’t take themselves too seriously- Likeable people are liked largely in part because they are not afraid to admit their mistakes and shortcomings. They are quick to laugh at themselves and don’t take themselves too seriously. By doing this, they let others know that they are REAL and do not look down on others and point out their flaws only. This goes back to be humble and having humility. Nobody is perfect, so they don’t have to act as though they are.
By implementing these characteristics into your own personality, you will begin to attract and draw others to you. We are around others and work with them on a daily basis, why not enjoy them and help to make the world a better place.
To your continued Success!