How To Draw People To You

There are basic human hungers in which all people crave. Having an understanding of these hungers will help you to become a person that others are drawn to. This can be in business, at work, in school, or with your family.

Have you ever known of an individual who seems to get along with everybody? They meet someone and a few minutes into the conversation it is as if they had known the other person for years? The reason that this person is able to get along and draw others to him is based on some key principles that I will share.

The first hunger that all humans have is Acceptance. Acceptance is simply letting the other person be his true self without having to put up any facades or being someone who they are not. When we accept others, we take both their strengths and their weaknesses and still like them just the way they are. Nobody is perfect and as a person with a personality that people are drawn to, you understand this and don’t pass judgement on the other individual. In other words, just because someone is not like you, you can still accept and like them anyway.

The second hunger is Approval. Approval is different than acceptance in that acceptance deals with negative aspects of a person in addition to the positive aspects. We accept a person even with their flaws. Approval is finding something that we like in the other person. You can always find something positive about someone just as easy as it is to find something negative about the same person. Your attitude and personality will determine which you focus on. Someone with a great attitude and positive personality will find the good in others, while the person with a negative attitude and negative personality will tend to find the negative in others. Which personality set do you have? One of the best ways to show approval is for you to go out of your way and praise non-obvious things about another person. For example, if you are complimenting an athlete on how well their physique is, that is an obvious compliment. However, if you complement them on something not so obvious like the fact that they are great at writing poetry and the praise will really have a positive impact on them. I know that is a lame example, but you get the point!!

Finally, Appreciation is the third human hunger. When you appreciate something, you place a high value on it. So if you appreciate another person, you are placing a high value on them. When people feel appreciated, they almost automatically like the person who appreciates them and, in turn, places them in high value. The person who draws others to him knows how to show an individual in little ways that he values him. Here are some ways in which you can show others that you value them:

– Thank them

– Treat people as individuals, not as a group

-Make people feel special and not just like everyone else

ID-100129426If you begin using these three principles that all humans crave, you will begin to attract others to you and be that person who seems to get along with any and everyone!For more information on how to develop the personality that others will be attracted to as well as additional principles, click here and register for my free 10 Day Blueprint.

To your successful personality!!

Ken Cloutier

 

 

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The Importance of Goal Cards

Are you in the pursuit of a goal? Have you set goals in the past that don’t ever seem to really get off the ground, or you forget about them completely only to find out that you have not moved on towards completing your goal?

If you answered yes to any of these situations, you are not alone! Welcome to the world of the ambitious!

Picture this: You have been inspired at a business conference or a work-related workshop and upon leaving you are ready to set the world on fire! You have great goals that you are excited about accomplishing and have a game plan ready to put in place on Monday morning. For the first week you work diligently towards achieving your goals with some successes and some failures. About 2-3 weeks into your journey, you begin to get a little lackadaisical and don’t necessarily follow your game plan like you did the first week. Can you relate to this scenario? Does this sound familiar? “How can I fix this?” you may ask. The answer is really actually quite simple. In fact, it is so simple that some of you reading this will disregard it and keep on being frustrated and wondering why you are not reaching your goals.

The simple answer to this is: Goal cards. Yes, Goal cards.

Goal cards are a simple, yet very effective way of keeping your goals in front of you. The whole premise of goal cards is that you write down exactly what you want to achieve as though it has already happened. For example, if  one of your goals is to make one sale per day, you would write, “I make one sale per day everyday.” Notice the way that this is written? It is not, “I try to make one sale per day everyday.” You must write down your statement and say it as though it has already happened, not that you will try or hope that it happens. There is a very important element at work here by making a statement that you already have what you are seeking.

The element at work is your subconscious mind. You see, your subconscious mind does not know the difference between what is real and what is not. By you stating something that you want as though you already have it, your subconscious mind will do everything possible to make whatever you say happen. So, in the example of, “I will make one sale per day everyday.” When you speak and tell your subconscious mind this statement on a daily basis, your mind will begin to figure out different creative methods or ways to get your goal accomplished.

Writing out the goal cards helps to keep your mind on your goals. By reading your goals out loud several times per day you are programming your subconscious mind to attain them. Making goal cards is very easy. SimplyID-10055007 write out your goals as though you already have them on some index cards and carry them around with you. Write out one statement per card. It may feel funny at first taking index cards out of your pocket and reading them out loud, but after a few days, you will get used to it and it will actually feel pretty good saying positive things about yourself and what you are achieving. I am a huge supporter of goal cards. When my wife and I were looking to hit some goals in our business, we used goal cards and spoke out loud exactly what we wanted to happen and how we wanted our business to come together. Several years later I came across them and it was so cool to see that EVERY single goal that we had written down on the cards came to pass!! It really does work!

I sincerely hope that you do not blow this concept off as some hocus pocus and really make a commitment to use goal cards.

In addition to using goal cards, you may also find my 10 Day Blueprint video series helpful. In this free series, I cover some other key principles to help you on your journey to success.

To your continued success!

Ken Cloutier

 

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Who Are You Listening To?

Watch any TV commercial or pick up any newspaper or periodical and you will be flooded with information and opinions on what you should or should not do. The question is, who do you listen to?

It is unfortunate that a large amount of people will listen to, and take advice from, people who don’t have their best interest in mind. Sometimes, it is actually from close friends and loved ones who are trying to “protect’ them from making a mistake or making a bad decision.

Having been in business for a number of years, I have witnessed potential entrepreneurs get SNIOP’d (susceptible to the negative influences of other people). They listened to somebody’s opinion about whether or not they should go into business for themselves or not.

The reality of the situation, is that these people listened to individuals who are have not obtained any type of personal or financial success. These advice givers don’t understand that in order to be in business for yourself and make money, it does require an element of risk- a calculated risk. What the potential entrepreneurs did not take into consideration was the ‘fruit on the tree’ that those people giving opinions had.

How can you expect to learn something from someone that has never done what they are giving their advice about? I have never studied or performed a brain surgery. How crazy would it be for someone to take advice or opinions from me on brain surgery? I have no clue on how to even begin a surgery let alone a brain surgery! Yet that is what so many people do when it comes to their finances and making money. They take opinions from people that are in debt, unhappy, and working in a career going nowhere.

The next time that you are going to take somebody’s opinion that is not going to encourage or support you, see where they are at in life. At your job, have you ever looked at the person who has been with the company for 10+ years and observed how happy they are, what kind of car they drive, where they live, etc? If you like their lifestyle, then continue to follow in their footsteps. If however you don’t, then understand that if you keep following their same path, you will end up where they are.

I have been fortunate to have been able to have a set of mentors that are in life where I want to be. They have given me and my family the ability to have someone to model and follow a script for success. These individuals have been able to put up the warning signs of life and enable us to sidestep any potential potholes that would be around the bend.

How about you? Do you have anybody encouraging you to do more with your life? Do you have somebody who has a vested interest in your success? Do you have anybody that you can listen to in order to help your chances of being successful?

I have helped hundreds of individuals create extra income and secure their financial stability while maintaining their current occupation. I do not claim to be any type of expert, but i’m just a guy who has great mentorship and has figured out a few things for himself. I am willing to help others do the same.

If you are ambitious, ready for a change, and looking to secure your financial future, click here  to get more information. See you on the other side!!

To your success!

Ken Cloutier

Look good and feel confident

How to Have the Self-Image of a Rockstar

Self-Image is the single most important aspect of our lives. The best analogy for this is that our Self-Image is like our central nervous system to our body. It controls everything about us. To know the importance of this is critical because your business, career, relationships, and anything else in your life will never outgrow your Self-Image!  I am going to outline 12 different points on how you can have the Self-Image of a Rockstar!

1. Appearance: When you look good, you feel good! Put on that sharp shirt with dress pants and look in the mirror and you feel like a million bucks don’t you? We have all done that before. When you feel good about how you look, your Self-Image will go up and you will walk and talk with greater confidence.

This can also translate over to your vehicle or home. Keeping a dirty car where you have old french fries from two months ago or a messy house is a very good indicator on how you perceive yourself. Don’t you get a great feeling when you get into your clean car regardless of  how old it is or walk into your clean fresh smelling house? Clean up and feel good!

2. Posture: You can increase your Self-Image simply by how you carry yourself. Walk with your chest out and your chin up; like you own the room. Sit upright and uncross your arms. These are all ways in which you can not only raise your Self-Image, but also show others and attract people to you because you have that air of confidence. Study the way successful people you know carry themselves. When was the last time you saw a successful person walking with their shoulders slumped and looking down at their shoes? They all have a posture about them; usually a brisk walk like they are going somewhere- which they are!

Another key aspect of posture is looking people in their eyes. I don’t mean the type of stare where you don’t blink, but looking at people in the eyes when you are talking to them or listening. It amazes me how many people that do not look me in the eyes when I speak with them. Instantly I know that they have a bit of a Self-Image issue.

Speak with confidence. Doesn’t it drive you nuts when you are trying to converse with somebody who has no confidence and they are speaking with little more than a slight mumble? You have to keep asking them to re-state what they just said until you get so sick of it you start nodding your head as if you actually are hearing them. Speak loud and bold so that others can hear you. You may ask “What if I say something wrong?” Who cares!! At least you said it with confidence!

3. Be on time: Nothing shows more disrespect for somebody’s time than showing up late. It also has a negative impact on your Self-Image. It may not seem like a big deal, but you know the feeling that I am talking about; you arrive at a meeting late and open the door and all of the heads turn to you and you reply- “I’m sorry that I am late.” Your Self-Image just took a hit. Be accountable. Leave for your appointment a few minutes early and arrive 5-10 minutes before- even family events. By your actions you are saying “I feel good about myself and care about our appointment.”

4. Manage your money well: This can be tied back into #3 about being accountable. Make sure you are aware of your money and paying your bills, etc. on time. When all of your bills are paid for and you are accountable, you will feel better about yourself. I can remember getting call after call from bill collectors about money that I owed. Needless to say when I got off the phone I didn’t exactly feel good. I felt lower than a pregnant ant! If you have made a commitment to pay for something or give money to someone for an event or tickets, etc- pay them. Guilt will lower your Self-Image.

5. Do what you are supposed to do consistently: We all have responsibilities in our lives and are being pulled in a thousand different directions from our family to careers to friends. Many times we do not want to do what we know we should or have to do. Resisting the temptation to put these things off and doing them even when we don’t feel like it will enhance your Self-Image. Have you started a work out regimen or gone on a diet recently? The first couple of weeks when you work out you feel tired and sore; not really the combination that screams to go to the gym! After a couple of weeks of consistently going to the gym, you actually change your perspective on working out. You feel as though you can’t go a day without working out! The same is true with dieting or cutting out sugar. The first few days/weeks are miserable but then you get to the point where you don’t even crave or want sugar. If you don’t do the things you should do or are not overcoming obstacles, your Self-Image will go backward. Remember, Success = Right Habits!

6. Progressive Goals: Another way to increase your Self-Image is to have progressive goals. These are goals that you increase every month. For example, if you are in sales your progressive goals may be to increase your monthly sales by X%. It may be that you are able to run for 2 miles before you get tired and your goal for next month would be to run 4 miles. These continual goals helps you to move forward and develop the habit of winning which will raise your Self-Image!

7. Pay the full price not the minimum price: Paying a price and overcoming obstacles will raise your Self-Image. Going through struggles will help you to see what you are made of. Too many people look to take the short cut or the paved road of simplicity only to find out that the reward was little to nothing. See how productive you can be- test yourself and you will be surprised how far you can go. Keep in mind that your reward is directly proportioned to the price you pay. The bigger the price, the bigger the reward. Increase your price and you will increase your Self-Image!

8. Don’t speak negative about yourself: Do you cringe like me whenever you hear someone say I can’t do this or I’m not good at that? I hate it! Never speak negative about yourself. Our brains are the greatest computer ever created. It can formulate ideas and solve problems in fractions of a second. However, it is easily programmed to listen to and accept any negative things we say about ourself. Our brain can not decipher whether or not you mean what you say but it takes everything we say to it literally. When you say things like “I am not good with people” or “I can’t remember names” you are programming yourself to do just that. It is just as easy to say that you are good with people or you are good at remembering names. Take the lid off of your capabilities and believe in yourself; this will raise your Self-Image. Speak positive about yourself and your brain will have nothing else to do but have you feeling good about you.

9. Spend time with people that have better Self-Images than you: Get around other individuals who have a high Self-Image. It may be a little bit intimidating at first, but the results will be well worth it. By getting around confident people, you can study how they dress, walk, speak, carry themselves, hear what they talk about, and most importantly, see what they don’t talk about. If you model people with a higher Self-Image than you, your Self-Image will go up as you start adopting their habits and attitudes.

10. Realize that action is the only thing that cures fear: Do what you fear a lot and you will get good at it. You may say that “I can’t talk in front of people.” Well for starters, refer back to topic #8, but how do you know you can’t unless you try it and work at it. Many people were raised to think that if it hurts or feels uncomfortable, stop doing it. My mentor has always said that pain is weakness leaving the body. If you start taking action on what you fear, your Self-Image will rise.Change is taking deliberate, proactive action outside of your comfort zone. Make the changes today and watch your Self-Image soar!

11.  Self-education: Self improvement education goes a long way to increasing and maintaining your Self-Image. I recommend reading positive books and listening to positive audios. Books change you from the inside out. It is like having a personal conversation with the author on how great you are and how you can improve yourself. Audios on the other hand, can help to program your thoughts and attitudes. Be careful what you allow into your mind. Lyrics to songs can be a hindrance to your Self-Image. The beat may be good, but if the song is speaking of negative things or when you sing along with the song, you are putting yourself down, your Self-Image will go down as well. Remember, your brain can not tell the difference- it only acts on the words that you tell it.

12. Build other people’s Self-Image: Build the Self-Image of others around your daily. Notice the little things about someone such as a nice shirt that they are wearing, or maybe they spoke up and made a good point in a meeting that you admired. Your Self-Image will go up when you look for positive qualities in others because you will work to look for the positive in yourself; it becomes a habit! When you serve others, your Self-Image goes up. So take your eyes off of yourself and put it on others.

It is with sincere hope that this article has helped you in some way. Whether you had a very low Self-Image before you read this post, or you were just trying to see how you can improve the good Self-Image you currently have, you must continue to work on yourself on a daily basis.

You may be overwhelmed and thinking how can I possibly do all 12 of these things to improve my Self-Image. My recommendation to you is to start with 1 or 2 topics at a time and work on them for several days until you feel that you have made progress. Then move on to another set. Your Self-Image did not form over night and therefore, will not change over night either. Take it a day at a time and bit by bit you will feel better about yourself.

I do not claim to be the Self-Image guru and, like everyone else, I battle and have to continually work on my Self-Image. When you understand and implement the tools and strategies that I have spelled out above, it is a battle you can be confident of winning!

Please share with me strategies and/or stories of how you have raised your Self-Image! I would love your feedback.

To your Success!

Kenneth Cloutier

Ways to Overcome the Fear of Rejection

How many times as a child did you hear the word “no”? I am guessing that it was hundreds if not thousands of times. When you were at the store and asked your mom for that sleek red Matchbox car or the newest Barbie doll you constantly heard no, no, no! But as a young child, you did not see the word  no as a roadblock,  but instead you would keep on asking until you got the one word that we wanted to hear…”yes”

So why is it now that you are all grown up you fear hearing the word no? What changed from when you were young and essentially ignored the no’s and continued to ask questions until you got the yes that you were searching for?

I am reminded of a great example of this. As I was reading a book at a coffee shop, a young girl of about the age of five was selling some candy for a fund-raiser. I observed as she approached each “stranger” with enthusiasm and asked if they would like to buy some candy. She got no after no but continued to walk to each table as if it were the first time asking the question. How was she able to do this at the age of five, yet each of us from 25, 35, 45, and above could never think of doing such a thing?

The reason is that the little girl did not care or worry about what other people thought about her! Think about that for a moment. Why is it that you were afraid of making that sales call to the CEO of the client that you were trying to get business from? Or why do so many people not like to speak in front of others and seem to forget their names when speaking publicly? It’s simple: you care about what others think about you and you do not want to look like a fool to them. We all tend to try to compare the good qualities of others with the not so good qualities of ourselves.

So how do you overcome that fear of worrying about what others think about you and  raise your self-image?

1. Start a self development program of reading books that help you to understand that you are a one of a kind, special person- there is no other you out there! Some great titles that helped me are, What to Say When you Talk To Yourself by Shad Helmstetter and  The greatest Miracle in the World by Og Mandino.

2. The “mirror technique”- When I first did this I thought it was real crazy and weird. What you do is look at the person in the mirror (you) and start to say great things about yourself. Things like: “you are a winner”, “you are successful”, “you are going places”, etc. There is something special that happens when you can look yourself in your eyes and speak positive!

3. Look at rejection not as a failure, but as a step closer to success! In the book Go for No pointed out that most people view rejection as:

Failure <—–You—–>Success

You either fail or succeed.

But if your view Failure as a passing through point, it is easy to accept because you know you are closer to succeeding and don’t worry what others think. It looks like this:

You—–>Failure—–>Success!! You literally fail your way to success.

So how do you overcome your fear of rejection? Raise your self-image and understand that rejection is a stepping stone for success. If you use the techniques and resources that I have provided to you, watch as you move forward towards your goals and dreams with a pep in your step!

I would love to get feedback from you and even hear how you overcame some of your fears of rejection.

To your Success!!

Ken Cloutier

 

 

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