How many times as a child did you hear the word “no”? I am guessing that it was hundreds if not thousands of times. When you were at the store and asked your mom for that sleek red Matchbox car or the newest Barbie doll you constantly heard no, no, no! But as a young child, you did not see the word no as a roadblock, but instead you would keep on asking until you got the one word that we wanted to hear…”yes”
So why is it now that you are all grown up you fear hearing the word no? What changed from when you were young and essentially ignored the no’s and continued to ask questions until you got the yes that you were searching for?
I am reminded of a great example of this. As I was reading a book at a coffee shop, a young girl of about the age of five was selling some candy for a fund-raiser. I observed as she approached each “stranger” with enthusiasm and asked if they would like to buy some candy. She got no after no but continued to walk to each table as if it were the first time asking the question. How was she able to do this at the age of five, yet each of us from 25, 35, 45, and above could never think of doing such a thing?
The reason is that the little girl did not care or worry about what other people thought about her! Think about that for a moment. Why is it that you were afraid of making that sales call to the CEO of the client that you were trying to get business from? Or why do so many people not like to speak in front of others and seem to forget their names when speaking publicly? It’s simple: you care about what others think about you and you do not want to look like a fool to them. We all tend to try to compare the good qualities of others with the not so good qualities of ourselves.
So how do you overcome that fear of worrying about what others think about you and raise your self-image?
1. Start a self development program of reading books that help you to understand that you are a one of a kind, special person- there is no other you out there! Some great titles that helped me are, What to Say When you Talk To Yourself by Shad Helmstetter and The greatest Miracle in the World by Og Mandino.
2. The “mirror technique”- When I first did this I thought it was real crazy and weird. What you do is look at the person in the mirror (you) and start to say great things about yourself. Things like: “you are a winner”, “you are successful”, “you are going places”, etc. There is something special that happens when you can look yourself in your eyes and speak positive!
3. Look at rejection not as a failure, but as a step closer to success! In the book Go for No pointed out that most people view rejection as:
Failure <—–You—–>Success
You either fail or succeed.
But if your view Failure as a passing through point, it is easy to accept because you know you are closer to succeeding and don’t worry what others think. It looks like this:
You—–>Failure—–>Success!! You literally fail your way to success.
So how do you overcome your fear of rejection? Raise your self-image and understand that rejection is a stepping stone for success. If you use the techniques and resources that I have provided to you, watch as you move forward towards your goals and dreams with a pep in your step!
I would love to get feedback from you and even hear how you overcame some of your fears of rejection.
To your Success!!
Ken Cloutier