people skills

Never worry about what other people think about you again

Published by Kenneth

Do you know someone who is always concerned and worried about what others think about them? Have you ever fallen into that trap?

Recently I was working with a new business owner who I am mentoring, and we were talking about some of his associates that he thought might be interested in an opportunity. He was concerned about what his associates and others would think about him. This prompted me to write this post as I know that there are many other people who struggle with this thought process that is keeping them from succeeding at the highest level.

It is very natural for you to care about what others think about you. It is human nature to want to fit in. The simple fact of the matter is that YOU are the very person who largely can dictate how others view you and think about you. How, you may ask?

Here is the key: People will see you in the very way in which you carry yourself! It’s that simple. If you want to be seen as a shy and timid person, act that way and that is how you will be perceived. If you want to be seen as a confident, outgoing and savvy individual, act that way and that is how you will be treated and thought of. I am not saying that you should try to be someone that you are not, but what I am saying is rather than letting others dictate who you are and being worried about how they view you, show them who you are by how you carry yourself.

Think about the last time that you saw someone who many people respected walk into the room. Would you say that there was a sort of feeling in the air that this individual commanded respect? They probably did not even have to say anything. It was simply how they carried themselves that made people think that this person is a ‘somebody.’

So how do you carry yourself? Do you walk with your head up and a quick pace? Do you offer a firm handshake and look people in the eyes? Do you speak boldly and confidently, loud enough for others to hear you? Or do you walk with your head down at a snail’s pace? Is your handshake and eyes telling others that, “I have no confidence in myself?” Are you speaking low and mumbling so that others are always asking you to repeat yourself? All of this body language speaks volumes to people who are instantly deciding if you are someone that they will want to get to know or follow.

Instead of being concerned about how others think about you, your energy and focus should be on how you carry yourself and the body language that you are giving off. If you want people to see you in a certain way, act that way. Act the way that you want others to think about you!

Tell me how you have overcome worrying about what others think about you.

To Your Success!!

Ken Cloutier

 

 

photocredit

 

 

5 Characteristics of a Likeable Person

Published by Kenneth

Do you deal with people on a regular basis? Does your career or business depend on you getting along with people and being liked?

The following 5 characteristics will help you to become a better “people person” and be liked by others more easily and sincerely.

1. Listen more than you talk- Don’t you hate it when you speak with someone who only seems to know the word “I” or “Me”? It seems as though they do not know anybody else exists other than themselves. Likeable people understand they then need to listen more and talk less. They ask questions and actually HEAR what the other person is saying. They use active listening which shows that they care. Active listening means that they are leaning forward, making eye contact, acknowledging and re-stating key points that they hear. Everyone wants to know that they are being heard and listening will make you more likeable.

2. Give without receiving- Likeable people truly give of themselves and provide knowledge and/or expertise without worrying about what they will get in return. Giving is really the only way to establish a relationship and connection with others. By giving freely without expecting anything back in return shows others that you really do put them first and care about them. Try it and watch how good you feel by giving of yourself; you will be liked.

3. Likeable people are humble- In a society where athletes and musicians alike, for example, are quick to say and act as though they are God’s gift to civilization and they are untouchable, never making mistakes. In fact, the opposite will get you much farther. Individuals who are liked by others tend to have a confidence about them but do not feel the need to broadcast it to everyone. Instead they are open to and enjoy learning from others. Which brings me to the next characteristic.

4. Take the spotlight off of themselves and shine it on others- These folks do not care nor want the credit. Instead, they are quick to give the credit to others and will even tell others that they have done a good job and are appreciated. This not only demonstrates what a nice person they are, but the people that they are praising will have respect and like them.

5. They don’t take themselves too seriously- Likeable people are liked largely in part because they are not afraid to admit their mistakes and shortcomings. They are quick to laugh at themselves and don’t take themselves too seriously. By doing this, they let others know that they are REAL and do not look down on others and point out their flaws only. This goes back to be humble and having humility. Nobody is perfect, so they don’t have to act as though they are.

By implementing these characteristics into your own personality, you will begin to attract and draw others to you. We are around others and work with them on a daily basis, why not enjoy them and help to make the world a better place.

To your continued Success!

Kenneth Cloutier 

photocredit

3 Characteristics of Ambitious People

Published by Kenneth

Ambition can be defined as a strong desire for success of any goal through hard work and determination. The great achievers of our time have all had it. Individuals with this quality trait stand out as people who constantly drive towards their goals and dreams .

So what qualities make a person ambitious?

1. Ambitious individuals are always striving towards a goal: Show me a person who is always doing something to achieve their goals and dreams and I will show you an ambitious person. People with this quality are not the type of person to stagnate and sit still. They have an inner clock that is always ticking and signifying that they have to be doing something to move ahead. The goals of the ambitious are like most other people’s; Business goals, family goals, higher education goals, and career goals just to name a few.  The difference with ambitious people is that they will not sit around and wait or expect to achieve these goals. They get up and go after them!

2. They continue to work through setbacks: The ambitious individual will continue to fight towards their goals amid any adversity or setbacks (everyone goes through these). Their goals are that important to them. They persevere; nothing is going to stop them from achieving. The average person would quit and say that it just got too hard or contemplate that they are not worthy or good enough to attain their original goal(s) and therefore settle for something lower that does not take as much effort. Ambitious people don’t have the “settle-for” mentality in their make-up, they only win.

3. Ambitious people always set another goal: Whenever these people hit their goals, they set another one right away. Many ambitious people actually prefer the thrill of the journey of chasing and working towards their goal rather than actually achieving it! They always have to be working towards another level. It is as if they feel empty if they are not striving after another goal. Some people actually look at ambition as a negative! Like they are immoral for having a goal or a dream and call them “materialistic.” The challenge is that they don’t understand the underlying internal satisfaction that the ambitious person has to be in the fight of chasing their goal or dream.

Being ambitious is not just something that you are born with. You can become ambitious at anytime- you must have a goal or find a dream that causes you to take action and you will see the ambition rise within you!

If you are ambitious or have been looking for a way to pursue your goals and dreams, I would like to personally work with you. Just click here and watch a free video.

To your success!

Ken Cloutier

 

photocredit

Who Are You Listening To?

Published by Kenneth

Watch any TV commercial or pick up any newspaper or periodical and you will be flooded with information and opinions on what you should or should not do. The question is, who do you listen to?

It is unfortunate that a large amount of people will listen to, and take advice from, people who don’t have their best interest in mind. Sometimes, it is actually from close friends and loved ones who are trying to “protect’ them from making a mistake or making a bad decision.

Having been in business for a number of years, I have witnessed potential entrepreneurs get SNIOP’d (susceptible to the negative influences of other people). They listened to somebody’s opinion about whether or not they should go into business for themselves or not.

The reality of the situation, is that these people listened to individuals who are have not obtained any type of personal or financial success. These advice givers don’t understand that in order to be in business for yourself and make money, it does require an element of risk- a calculated risk. What the potential entrepreneurs did not take into consideration was the ‘fruit on the tree’ that those people giving opinions had.

How can you expect to learn something from someone that has never done what they are giving their advice about? I have never studied or performed a brain surgery. How crazy would it be for someone to take advice or opinions from me on brain surgery? I have no clue on how to even begin a surgery let alone a brain surgery! Yet that is what so many people do when it comes to their finances and making money. They take opinions from people that are in debt, unhappy, and working in a career going nowhere.

The next time that you are going to take somebody’s opinion that is not going to encourage or support you, see where they are at in life. At your job, have you ever looked at the person who has been with the company for 10+ years and observed how happy they are, what kind of car they drive, where they live, etc? If you like their lifestyle, then continue to follow in their footsteps. If however you don’t, then understand that if you keep following their same path, you will end up where they are.

I have been fortunate to have been able to have a set of mentors that are in life where I want to be. They have given me and my family the ability to have someone to model and follow a script for success. These individuals have been able to put up the warning signs of life and enable us to sidestep any potential potholes that would be around the bend.

How about you? Do you have anybody encouraging you to do more with your life? Do you have somebody who has a vested interest in your success? Do you have anybody that you can listen to in order to help your chances of being successful?

I have helped hundreds of individuals create extra income and secure their financial stability while maintaining their current occupation. I do not claim to be any type of expert, but i’m just a guy who has great mentorship and has figured out a few things for himself. I am willing to help others do the same.

If you are ambitious, ready for a change, and looking to secure your financial future, click here  to get more information. See you on the other side!!

To your success!

Ken Cloutier

Look good and feel confident

How to Have the Self-Image of a Rockstar

Published by Kenneth

Self-Image is the single most important aspect of our lives. The best analogy for this is that our Self-Image is like our central nervous system to our body. It controls everything about us. To know the importance of this is critical because your business, career, relationships, and anything else in your life will never outgrow your Self-Image!  I am going to outline 12 different points on how you can have the Self-Image of a Rockstar!

1. Appearance: When you look good, you feel good! Put on that sharp shirt with dress pants and look in the mirror and you feel like a million bucks don’t you? We have all done that before. When you feel good about how you look, your Self-Image will go up and you will walk and talk with greater confidence.

This can also translate over to your vehicle or home. Keeping a dirty car where you have old french fries from two months ago or a messy house is a very good indicator on how you perceive yourself. Don’t you get a great feeling when you get into your clean car regardless of  how old it is or walk into your clean fresh smelling house? Clean up and feel good!

2. Posture: You can increase your Self-Image simply by how you carry yourself. Walk with your chest out and your chin up; like you own the room. Sit upright and uncross your arms. These are all ways in which you can not only raise your Self-Image, but also show others and attract people to you because you have that air of confidence. Study the way successful people you know carry themselves. When was the last time you saw a successful person walking with their shoulders slumped and looking down at their shoes? They all have a posture about them; usually a brisk walk like they are going somewhere- which they are!

Another key aspect of posture is looking people in their eyes. I don’t mean the type of stare where you don’t blink, but looking at people in the eyes when you are talking to them or listening. It amazes me how many people that do not look me in the eyes when I speak with them. Instantly I know that they have a bit of a Self-Image issue.

Speak with confidence. Doesn’t it drive you nuts when you are trying to converse with somebody who has no confidence and they are speaking with little more than a slight mumble? You have to keep asking them to re-state what they just said until you get so sick of it you start nodding your head as if you actually are hearing them. Speak loud and bold so that others can hear you. You may ask “What if I say something wrong?” Who cares!! At least you said it with confidence!

3. Be on time: Nothing shows more disrespect for somebody’s time than showing up late. It also has a negative impact on your Self-Image. It may not seem like a big deal, but you know the feeling that I am talking about; you arrive at a meeting late and open the door and all of the heads turn to you and you reply- “I’m sorry that I am late.” Your Self-Image just took a hit. Be accountable. Leave for your appointment a few minutes early and arrive 5-10 minutes before- even family events. By your actions you are saying “I feel good about myself and care about our appointment.”

4. Manage your money well: This can be tied back into #3 about being accountable. Make sure you are aware of your money and paying your bills, etc. on time. When all of your bills are paid for and you are accountable, you will feel better about yourself. I can remember getting call after call from bill collectors about money that I owed. Needless to say when I got off the phone I didn’t exactly feel good. I felt lower than a pregnant ant! If you have made a commitment to pay for something or give money to someone for an event or tickets, etc- pay them. Guilt will lower your Self-Image.

5. Do what you are supposed to do consistently: We all have responsibilities in our lives and are being pulled in a thousand different directions from our family to careers to friends. Many times we do not want to do what we know we should or have to do. Resisting the temptation to put these things off and doing them even when we don’t feel like it will enhance your Self-Image. Have you started a work out regimen or gone on a diet recently? The first couple of weeks when you work out you feel tired and sore; not really the combination that screams to go to the gym! After a couple of weeks of consistently going to the gym, you actually change your perspective on working out. You feel as though you can’t go a day without working out! The same is true with dieting or cutting out sugar. The first few days/weeks are miserable but then you get to the point where you don’t even crave or want sugar. If you don’t do the things you should do or are not overcoming obstacles, your Self-Image will go backward. Remember, Success = Right Habits!

6. Progressive Goals: Another way to increase your Self-Image is to have progressive goals. These are goals that you increase every month. For example, if you are in sales your progressive goals may be to increase your monthly sales by X%. It may be that you are able to run for 2 miles before you get tired and your goal for next month would be to run 4 miles. These continual goals helps you to move forward and develop the habit of winning which will raise your Self-Image!

7. Pay the full price not the minimum price: Paying a price and overcoming obstacles will raise your Self-Image. Going through struggles will help you to see what you are made of. Too many people look to take the short cut or the paved road of simplicity only to find out that the reward was little to nothing. See how productive you can be- test yourself and you will be surprised how far you can go. Keep in mind that your reward is directly proportioned to the price you pay. The bigger the price, the bigger the reward. Increase your price and you will increase your Self-Image!

8. Don’t speak negative about yourself: Do you cringe like me whenever you hear someone say I can’t do this or I’m not good at that? I hate it! Never speak negative about yourself. Our brains are the greatest computer ever created. It can formulate ideas and solve problems in fractions of a second. However, it is easily programmed to listen to and accept any negative things we say about ourself. Our brain can not decipher whether or not you mean what you say but it takes everything we say to it literally. When you say things like “I am not good with people” or “I can’t remember names” you are programming yourself to do just that. It is just as easy to say that you are good with people or you are good at remembering names. Take the lid off of your capabilities and believe in yourself; this will raise your Self-Image. Speak positive about yourself and your brain will have nothing else to do but have you feeling good about you.

9. Spend time with people that have better Self-Images than you: Get around other individuals who have a high Self-Image. It may be a little bit intimidating at first, but the results will be well worth it. By getting around confident people, you can study how they dress, walk, speak, carry themselves, hear what they talk about, and most importantly, see what they don’t talk about. If you model people with a higher Self-Image than you, your Self-Image will go up as you start adopting their habits and attitudes.

10. Realize that action is the only thing that cures fear: Do what you fear a lot and you will get good at it. You may say that “I can’t talk in front of people.” Well for starters, refer back to topic #8, but how do you know you can’t unless you try it and work at it. Many people were raised to think that if it hurts or feels uncomfortable, stop doing it. My mentor has always said that pain is weakness leaving the body. If you start taking action on what you fear, your Self-Image will rise.Change is taking deliberate, proactive action outside of your comfort zone. Make the changes today and watch your Self-Image soar!

11.  Self-education: Self improvement education goes a long way to increasing and maintaining your Self-Image. I recommend reading positive books and listening to positive audios. Books change you from the inside out. It is like having a personal conversation with the author on how great you are and how you can improve yourself. Audios on the other hand, can help to program your thoughts and attitudes. Be careful what you allow into your mind. Lyrics to songs can be a hindrance to your Self-Image. The beat may be good, but if the song is speaking of negative things or when you sing along with the song, you are putting yourself down, your Self-Image will go down as well. Remember, your brain can not tell the difference- it only acts on the words that you tell it.

12. Build other people’s Self-Image: Build the Self-Image of others around your daily. Notice the little things about someone such as a nice shirt that they are wearing, or maybe they spoke up and made a good point in a meeting that you admired. Your Self-Image will go up when you look for positive qualities in others because you will work to look for the positive in yourself; it becomes a habit! When you serve others, your Self-Image goes up. So take your eyes off of yourself and put it on others.

It is with sincere hope that this article has helped you in some way. Whether you had a very low Self-Image before you read this post, or you were just trying to see how you can improve the good Self-Image you currently have, you must continue to work on yourself on a daily basis.

You may be overwhelmed and thinking how can I possibly do all 12 of these things to improve my Self-Image. My recommendation to you is to start with 1 or 2 topics at a time and work on them for several days until you feel that you have made progress. Then move on to another set. Your Self-Image did not form over night and therefore, will not change over night either. Take it a day at a time and bit by bit you will feel better about yourself.

I do not claim to be the Self-Image guru and, like everyone else, I battle and have to continually work on my Self-Image. When you understand and implement the tools and strategies that I have spelled out above, it is a battle you can be confident of winning!

Please share with me strategies and/or stories of how you have raised your Self-Image! I would love your feedback.

To your Success!

Kenneth Cloutier

How to Earn Trust as a Leader

Published by Kenneth

Leadership is something that many people strive for, yet it  is one of the most studied facets of people skills. Many people want to know “how do I become a leader?” or “how do I get others to trust me in order to follow me?” Below are 10 components that can effectively help you to become a trusted leader among your peers.

You will notice that these components are not geared for the dictator-type leader but towards servant leadership. In order to lead with a servant-like attitude, the leader must have the interest of his followers and their desires rather than his or her own.

So let’s take a closer look at how to earn trust as a leader!

1. Have an open door policy– This does not mean that you only should leave your door open for others to walk in literally, but make yourself accessible. Let others know that you are available for them anytime and not just when it is convenient for you. Doing something such as giving others your personal cell number or other bits of personal information tells them that “I trust you.” You may be thinking that ‘I don’t want to give someone my personal number.” What you are saying is that “I don’t trust this person.” How do you expect others to trust you if you in turn do not trust them. Sharing personal information is one of the quickest ways to earn trust in others.

2. Keep in contact– So you have provided your personal cell phone number and have hopefully already had the opportunity to meet the people that you are leading face to face. You must now take it a step further by continuously keeping in contact with them. This can be done through e-mail, text, phone calls, or other technologies such as streaming video. The crucial point here is that you are viewed as a real person who cares about your followers. You did not just stop by and shake hands for a few minutes never to be hard from again. Be real and show it by keeping in touch.

3. Listen– The aspiring leader is a good listener. People feel that they are respected and valued when they are listened to. Too many leaders think that they are “leading” only when they are talking and sharing their own ideas. Good leaders are great listeners.

4. Get to know the people you want to lead– This goes back to component #3. In order to get to know the people that you want to lead, you have to be willing to listen to them and where they came from, etc. That is how you will learn what their “hot buttons” are and what will motivate them. You can learn what their values are and what makes them happy, sad, etc. Taking the time to learn about the people you lead will not only earn you trust, but it will help you when you face situations where you can have somebody help you out because you know their personality and strengths.

5. Appreciate and encourage diversity– Be willing to learn about another person’s culture. If you are leading a diverse bunch of people, it would be smart to take the time and learn more about their culture and values. You can do this by simply going to a restaurant that serves the same kind of food that they grew up with. It might be attending a museum or some sort of musical event that celebrates their culture. While doing this, it is even more effective when you share your culture with them so that they can get to know you as well. By learning about other people’s culture you are, in effect, saying “I think that you are important and I want to learn more about you!”

6. Try on a new pair of shoes– I’m sure that you have heard the expression about walking in another person’s shoes. In order to be trusted, your followers need to know that you relate to them; that you have walked in their shoes. The best way to demonstrate that is to take the time and do exactly what you expect of them. I have seen too many leaders stand on their soap box and shout out orders and expectations only to draw large amounts of resentment from the people that they lead. In fact, some have never even performed the actions that they expect others to do. Don’t expect others to do what you are not willing to do is a great line to lead by. Take the time to make that sales call or service a customer to demonstrate that you understand the joys and hardships of the job at hand. When you get down off of your soap box and perform the actions that others are doing, you can learn of the strengths and weaknesses of the processes that you have in place.

7. Create a mastermind group– Select key people within your organization to conduct a regular focus group. This is intended to help everyone work towards a common purpose such as growth of a company or any other organizational goal. What makes this mastermind group so beneficial is that you can share ideas with each other that you may not have thought of. In addition, you have the opportunity to learn from the group what they like or don’t like about organization, product, services, and even your leadership practices and skills. This is a classic case of two or more heads are better than one!

8. Be willing to take the first risk– If you want to earn trust of those you lead, you must be willing to be the first one to take a risk. These risks are not the same kind as jumping out of a plane or something of an extreme sport. The risks that I am referring to are things such as the risk of not being liked by some people. Another risk may be you reaching out to someone and provide them with open communication and they reject it. While they are not high risks, they are risks nonetheless because you are risking your ego and self esteem. In order to build the trust of others, you must be willing to risk these things. It has been shown that those who have confidence in others are in turn seen as somebody who is trustworthy. It can also work in reverse order that if one does not possess confidence in others they are not seen as trustworthy. Another way of viewing it is those do don’t trust are not to be trusted. Take the risk and have confidence in others and you will be seen as a trusted leader.

9. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you– If you are a manager in a company or a leader in a business, be mindful of what upsets your followers or the people who work for you. After all, you are not a leader if nobody is following you. Here are some common things that can dismantle your leadership: Angry or rude behavior, public criticism, not giving credit where credit is due, pointing out only flaws or mistakes without edifying the positive actions or thoughts of others. There are many more but a way to avoid these common mistakes and others is to constantly work on your people skills. You can do this by reading books on how to effectively communicate with people and modeling other effective leaders who have good people skills and can get along well with others.

10. Set others up to win– As a servant leader, your primary goal should be to help others win. A famous Zig Ziglar quote helps to make this statement crystal clear. “You can have everything you want in life, if you help enough other people get what they want.”  As the leader of your organization or workforce, you set the vision for where you want the group to be. By helping everyone in the group accomplish just a little bit more than they thought they could will help you to gain their trust. If you have a sales goal and people hit that goal, why not increase the goal by one more sale? Help to build on successes with small, attainable goals. Our minds are like rubber bands, once they are stretched they can never go back to their original shape. If you show the people you lead how they can accomplish more than they thought that they could, your whole organization will grow and you will have the trust of everyone in it.

By implementing these 10 components into your leadership toolbox, you will begin to earn the trust of the people that you lead. It will not happen overnight- trust can not be earned overnight. Trust is earned through serving and consistency. When people see that you are willing to sincerely help them and you are consistent and predictable in your actions, they will lower the walls of mis-trust and you can begin a wonderful journey of success together.

“Trust is the essence of leadership.”                

–Colin Powell

 

Photo Credit 1, Photo Credit 2

 

 

 

The Fundamental Art of Praise!

Published by Kenneth

You deal with people on a regular basis whether it is at work or in the market place. Why is it that some folks seem to get along with everyone while others seem to always find something negative with others?

Learning people skills and how to effectively deal with others is a skill not mastered in a few days, weeks, or even months. It takes effort and discipline to begin to master some of the skills necessary to become a person that will attract others to you.

I am going to share a simple act that can revolutionize how you interact with people. This simple act that I am referring to is praise!

Praise is like jumping into cool water on a 100 degree summer day. It is refreshing to the soul. Praise is a very simple action to take but the reaction has the potential to make an impact for days, weeks, or even years.  In a society starved for positive attention, you can start to win friends by being that person who is quick to praise and slow to condemn.

Think of the last time that somebody told you that you did a great job or complimented you on something that you worked hard on. Didn’t that make you feel like a million bucks? It gave you a renewed energy and made you want to repeat your efforts.  If you understand this concept, you will be the person that people want to be around. People will leave you feeling better about themselves and not worse.

By offering praise and finding the good in people, you will begin to attract those that are similar to you. Have you noticed that when people complain a lot, they typically hang out and associate with other complainers. A winner can’t stand a loser! Put yourself at an advantage by becoming the person that you want to attract; one that is positive and uplifts people. This comes through praise.

I am not proposing that you praise others just for the sake of praising. It must be something that you notice that they have done well or something that they have worked on and made progress such as being more social, etc. Praising just for the heck of it will prove phony and others will see right through it. You must be sincire when giving praise.

So as you interact with individuals throughout your day, look for chances to praise others and watch as your influence and circle of friends grows.

To your Success!

Ken Cloutier

 

Photo Credit 1

Photo Credit 2