I was reminded about a key question on how to better connect with people a couple days ago and wanted to share it with you. It is always good to be reminded of things that can truly help you become successful when dealing with people! As you hopefully already know, people are mainly interested in only themselves and therefore, like to talk about themselves. A good conversationalist understands this and gets people to talk about themselves as a means of better connecting with them. There is, however, another type of question that you can ask people that will help you get to know them on a much deeper level rather than typical water cooler, basic conversational talk.
If you are meeting someone for the first time (or even know them on some level) and would like to find out more about them and get to know them better, there is a key question that you should ask them. For the most part, a conversation might take the form of if they live around the area or what kind of work they do. You might even talk to them about hobbies that they have, etc. Usually you will get a very general answer such as, I live over in _____ town, I work as a computer networker, or I like to play golf, etc. This is logical yes or no information. In order to really connect with someone, it doesn’t help to just know logical information about them. You will want to gain emotional information from them. What I mean by emotional information is information given by someone that has feelings or desires attached to it. How do you obtain emotional information from somebody that you just met or know on a very basic level? Very simple, ask the question: WHY?
Yes, it is that easy! When you as the question, “Why,” the individual will give you insight as to what kind of person they are. For example, let’s say you ask someone what kind of work they do. They answer that they are in computer networking. You could leave it at that and go on to ask another question, or you can dig a little deeper by asking why they chose computer networking as a profession. This will cause them to give you some additional insight into their personalities, likes, goals, dreams, etc. Do you see how this is more of an emotional answer that will help you to connect with them rather than the typical answers? If they say something like they got in that field because they already know computers and didn’t need to learn a lot, you can gain some insight about this person. If they said the same thing but they are working in computer networking for now to pay the bills but are really excited about another project that they have going on outside of work, you would get another perspective on the person and their ambition level. You got this insight all by just asking the question “WHY?” Keep in mind, this is just one example. I could give you hundreds more!
By asking people why they like or do something is a great way to learn more about the people that you are connecting with. This is how great friendships and business relationships can start. You have to be the person to ask the right questions to extract the information that will help to move the relationship further.
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To Your Success!